Hello? Hi! Duke! Wait, it’s so good to hear from you! It’s been like a million years. Yeah. No, like, not literally. Haha, I mean, you weren’t even a thing. Like a million years ago—sorry, I’m just so nervous, I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.
No, I promise I’m happy! My semester abroad has been incredible. My studies, my job experience, my new friends, new culture – it’s been surreal. But, to be honest, I’m under the weather. I came down with something so hard that I am now only eligible for the UNaffordable Care Act. I’m suffering from a bad, bad case of clinical…
I’m honestly surprised how much Duke sickness has hit me. Don’t get me wrong, you’re the best – top tier academics, blazing school spirit – but you’re supposed to just be my school. Going abroad for a semester is not a big deal. I’ll be back soon. And I’m not a baby.
But that’s the thing – you’re more than just my school. You are a real part of my identity. I seriously underestimated how amazing you are and how much you were going to become part of me.
Looking back, I should’ve foreseen this. There is no one in the world like you. You push me so far off my academic limits that I feel like a useless noob but yet a total genius at the same time. I’m a walking adrenaline rush between insane basketball games and main stage performances. I am surrounded by students obsessed soul, body and mind with Duke and the energy is fearless. So much so, that I am on the other side of the world, immersed in rich new cultures and life-changing experiences, and yet I find myself constantly day dreaming about the day I return to you!
DUKE I JUST, I JUST LOVE YOU. OKAY? I just want to be with you again.
I just want to sleep in a tent for 2 months to get into the UNC game and stay up all night whining like a baby in Perkins. All I want is late-night pancakes from Pitchfork and to wait 20 freakin-minutes for a salad from ABP. To go to Jazz night at the Mary Lou, to take one more cliché Instagram pic of the glorious Duke chapel because even though it gets so old it really doesn’t. Just one more time I want to miss the C-1 by 5 seconds and curse the public transportation Gods for this cruel, damned fate!
No, I’m not exaggerating! I don’t do that hyperbole game. Duke, you will be with me for the rest of my life because there is no one that can do what you do. I am so proud to be a Blue Devil and I thank God everyday.
I don’t want to keep you, Duke, I know you’re busy being world-class academic institution, but this call made my day. Love you and we’ll talk soon
No, you hang up first! …No you! …NO, you hang up! … …Stop it, YOU! …Ah, you first! …No STOP now, you!–OK, ok, ok! Ok!
I’ll hang up first, I’ll hang up first! Goodbye, I love you!
No, I love YOU more! No me! Stop it – no I do! No I love you MORE! NO ME. DUKE!
Hello? Duke? You there?